Call Me Moss – 10 – The Cosmic Cow

Reese stared up at the ship and tried not to fall over.

It was big. I mean, the Back Bacon Express is a big ship too… but this was on a whole other level. Over a hundred and fifteen meters from stem to stern and from port to starboard.

“So I guess you’re going full time into mining, is that it?” Reese said. “What kind of support craft am I flying?”

“You’re flying the coffee maker until it’s time for your shift at the controls.”

She frowned. “I don’t understand.”

I put a reassuring hand on her shoulder. “Let me tell you a story. When I was a kid, I used to do a paper route. Yeah, the place I grew up still had newspapers. Status thing for rich snobs. And these rich snobs got rich by not knowing how little a humble paperboy made and never bothered to tip.”

“Then I learned they never even read the stupid papers. They just wanted the status of having them delivered. That’s when I realized that I got paid exactly the same for dumping those papers in the recycler as I did delivering them, and made my first bold entrepreneurial move. Cut my workload down to a fraction of what it was before.”

Reese was baffled. “Weren’t you caught?”

“Oh, eventually. Like months later. Seriously, nobody even noticed. I only got caught because the recycler jammed. I played the stupid kid card and got a slap on the wrist.”

“Oh brother.”

“Yeah, well, it’s a lesson for them to learn to tip. Anyway, I don’t much like corporations. But I do like their toys. I’ve been sidling up with Sirius for a while because of a missile system they have that I want. But to get the kind of rep that will unlock the goodie cabinet? Well, you thought xenobiology was boring…”

“No, I thought waiting on the ship while you hunted for exotic fungus boring.”

“Whatever. Point is, I don’t have time for that nonsense, and I’m not all that interested in helping Sirius become even more rich. That’s where the Cosmic Cow comes in.”

“The Cosmic Cow?”

I waved to the Type-9. “It’s a loaner. Had to front the full amount as a deposit, but we’ll get like ninety percent or more of it back when we’re done. She’s fitted for cargo only, just enough shields for emergencies and a fuel scoop for similar reasons. She’s got one purpose in life. To go to a Sirius Corporation HQ, pick up 750 tons of their promotional crap, and drag it back here to Wurango. We get in done in one go instead of a dozen smaller runs.”

“Here? Why here? I mean, I don’t follow those corporate politics much, but isn’t Wurango like way outside their influence?”

“Yeah, but I gotta return the ship here anyway. Like I said, it’s a loaner.”

“And didn’t you once tell me that none of the major powers wanted Wurango? Something about it being a negative asset system?”

I grinned. “Like I said, I don’t care much for corporations. I’ll be damned if my actions actually help the bloodsuckers. As far as their computers are concerned, we did them a square deal, so we get the rep, get the toys, and we get the hell out.”

“You’re a real piece of work,” said Reese. “Messing with your enemies through complete and total apathy.”

“Works for me. And, come to think of it, I can’t say I think much of the Imperials, either… and one of them has a fancy type of railgun I’d like to get my hands on. Maybe I’ll hold on to the Cosmic Cow for a few more weeks… just in case.”

“Call Me Moss” is not set in the Get Lost universe, per se, but the game that inspired my love of the genre: Elite Dangerous (which is where the screenshots come from). Writing little bits like this is just one way I get in the right mindset for the next big adventure in my world. Consider this Moss as being from an alternate universe 😉