Review: Just Stab Me Now by Jill Bearup

“Writers can treat their mental illnesses every day.”—Kurt Vonnegut

Meta is a difficult thing to do right. It’s tempting low hanging fruit. Winking into the camera or breaking the fourth wall can get you a cheap laugh, but it also destroys the illusion of the world you’re creating.

To do meta right, you need something more, and Jill Bearup hit on a winning formula by being honest about the writing process itself.

Some authors really get into the heads of their characters, to the point where they are almost actual people, even doing things the author doesn’t expect.

There’s a famous anecdote in which J. Michael Straczynski talks about writing a script. In it, a mad emperor is assassinated. He always assumed he knew who was going to do the deed, but one day, one of the most unlikely characters from the story whispered in his ear, “It’s me. I did it.”

Just Stab Me Now started life as a series of short videos on YouTube, where an author interacts with the heroine of the fantasy romance she’s writing—played by the same person.

Jill Bearup is an actor combatant (that is, practices stage fighting), and her channel features analysis of weapons, armour, and cinematic sword fights, as well as just talking about “Stuff you like.” But her Just Stab Me Now series ended up taking on a life of their own, and eventually became an actual novel, one which incorporates a fair bit of the original content, but expands on it in creative and satisfying ways.

Caroline Lindley is a successful romance author, but not successful enough that she doesn’t have to work a day job. Her usual fare of coffee shop romances has gotten a bit dull for her and, based on her editor’s suggestion, she decides to try a different kind of story—fantasy romance.

The heart of the interplay between author and heroine is trope subversion. Caroline initially envisioned a typical (and marketable) twenty-something heroine who would engage with all the standard enemies-to-lovers tropes that she loves (and sells).

Instead, she ended up writing a thirty-six-year-old widow with two kids, and who looks suspiciously like herself. What’s more, this Lady Rosamund steadfastly refuses to play along with many of her favourite tropes, opting for frustratingly logical and practical approaches to the problems thrown at her.

And then there’s the matter of Leo Collins—the “hot enemy.” That is, the love interest Rosamund is supposed to hate at first but eventually falls for… and who looks suspiciously like Caroline’s editor. He also refuses to follow the “rules” and behave the way a proper hot enemy should in such stories.

This is a story that dances between multiple layers of existence, and jumps between them very frequently.

There is Caroline’s story, where she deals with a frustrating job and a boss who has turned her into his personal IT assistant despite that not being her job. The fact he’s an incompetent and arrogant boob doesn’t help matters.

We get the impression that writing is her escape from all this, and so we also see that side of her life, where she’s interacting via phone, text, or email with her editor, Henry.

One thing to note is that while Caroline is the writer, her story is really more of the B-plot… which is in itself a trope twist because typically the focus would be with the writer and the story characters would be the B-Plot. Which makes sense, because the fantasy story isn’t “real.”

At least, it’s not if you focus on the writer.

However, the real focus of the story is Lady Rosamund’s world, and Rosamund herself. While the author (er, I mean Jill Bearup, the real author) fleshes out her fantasy world well enough, it’s also simple enough that anyone familiar with the genre can slip right in. It’s meant to be a comfortably grounded fantasy (no dragons or wizard duels here) with the kind of customs and political intrigue one would assume exists. That level of familiarity makes it easier to keep the focus on the characters, namely Rosamund and Leo’s budding relationship.

And because more of the focus is here, we don’t see these characters as merely characters. Their world exists, even if it is being tweaked along the way.

Rosamund stands out as a heroine because she is so not what you normally find in these kind of stories. Which is, of course, the point. But that doesn’t stop it from being refreshing. You want to see these tropes toyed with or even tossed on their head, while at the same time building towards something more believable and real in terms of romance (if less steamy).

And then there is the overlap between the two worlds… because Caroline frequently interrupts what’s going on to interact with the characters, either trying to goad them into what the standard, popular, marketable tropes demand, or to figure out why they’re doing what they’re doing.

This interplay is the best part of the book, and what makes it stand out from other meta stories. During these interactions, the characters are aware that they are characters and Caroline is the creator, but also that they and their world are real—for them, at least. They know the author can nudge them in a certain direction, but only so much, and there are things they simply will not do.

But the moment the author leaves, all memory of their exchange vanishes and they continue on as if nothing happened.

This allows Jill to have it both ways—to have humorous meta interactions between creator and creation, while not having the story itself become self aware.

This is a story that will be enjoyed by readers and writers alike. Readers will appreciate the “peek behind the windows” vibe of the writing process, even in this fictionalized and simplified form (I mean, they don’t really go into the editing process… and boy, is that a big part of it!).

Writers will get where she’s coming from in terms of trying to balance work, life and writing, and how one will often influence the others in subtle (and not so subtle) ways. And of course, I think we all have experience interacting with our characters, though no two writers do it quite the same way.

Personally, I run through scenarios in my head from the character’s POV, or see it play out like a movie. It might play out several times with slight variations while I try to get the right feeling for the scene. It rarely slips into full on in-character daydreaming, but it does happen once in a while.

So while what happens for me isn’t at all like what happens to Caroline and Rosamund, I relate to the core concept, just as I relate to JMS hearing his characters speak to him.

If you’re still not sure if this book is for you, I recommend looking up Jill’s YouTube shorts (I’ve linked her playlist below). If the style of humour on display resonates, then the book is definitely worth your time.

Universal Link: Just Stab Me Now (eBook and Paperback)