Call Me Moss – 1 – The Back Bacon Express

“Call Me Moss” is not set in the Get Lost universe, per se, but the game that inspired my love of the genre: Elite Dangerous (which is where the screenshots come from). Writing little bits like this is just one way I get in the right mindset for the next big adventure in my own world. Consider this Moss as being from an alternate universe 😉

“This is Maurice Foote aboard the Back Bacon Express, but for all you other commanders out there keeping the galaxy spinning by moving freight or kicking ass, you can call me Moss.

“Now you might be asking why some nobody out in some po-dunk system with barely any population is shooting the breeze over regular radio channels. Well, truth is, I got time to kill and I got wisdom to share. So you just lean back and listen to what ol’ Moss Foote has to tell you.

“If you’re new to the deep black, well, I don’t blame you if you find it all a little overwhelming. There’s a lot to do out here, and a lot of ways to die, and the Venn diagram overlap between the two looks like a cross-eyes Muppet.

“What you’re looking to do is make some easy money and get yourself a decent ship. Well, there are plenty of ways to do that. Ain’t no shame in being a courier while you learn the ropes. Helps get your a rep with the locals, and you’ll have a better chance of asking for more pay if you like to do your negotiating in person.

“You’d think carrying cargo would be easy money, and it can be. Just try to stick to the safer system while you do it. Pirates seem to have a sixth sense for the one time you happen to be carrying a cargo hold full of silver instead of synthetic meat goop.

“Best money I made starting out was by working as an information gatherer for the local bigwigs. Seem they like to know what those megaships are carrying and where they’re going. It’s above board and pays pretty well. Low risk, too. If a furball happens while you’re there, just duck out once you’re done your business.

“Once you got the credits, find the ship you want and start upgrading it right away. That E rated crap it comes with isn’t worth your time. Even with A rated stuff, or D if you like running light, you’re gonna want someone talented to upgrade those parts and give you an edge over everyone else. You might not be looking for a fight, but if one finds you, you want to have the option to either run away from it, or be the last person standing.

“And lastly, always, always remember to keep your tank topped up. Don’t listen to those kooks who talk about keeping your weight down for longer jumps. You’re not out to break distance records, kid. Even if you got a fuel scoop, mistakes happen if you wait too long and end up at a brown dwarf system, like this one.

“Anyway, this has been a long winded say of me saying… can someone get me in touch with a Fuel Rat? My long range comms are broken, and I’m pretty sure my orbit around this moon is starting to decay.”

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